When emotions run in from dissected portions of our life, they interfere with the higher thinking intended not to produce sorrow and scorn. Shortly after Barb died, a day later, I woke up to the Monday morning doom of not being able to be an employee anymore of my previous job. One I chose to quit and the other I was terminated from. In retrospect, the second job I was terminated from was only 8 hours a week. So why it created such a negative storm of energy within me is incomprehensible. The incident is still affecting my way of life today, how I act, what I plan to do, what I think of myself. It is depressing. I have pressed on for an answer and given none. In this at will state, the employer feels no privilege to give you an answer or even elaborate on that aspect. There was one nice person at a college who took the time to explain but he was still somewhat callous and detached. I have lost regard for Nona who in her stalwart Uzbechistan ways presents herself as a face of rationalism, but dwindles to a soldier of conscienceless objection. Her pity emits from the wrong secretions and her arrow of justice is a malformed corporate sword dividing half and full truths. She is a reflection of her own fear and a disciple of twisted obedience. Her modus operandi is subservient to a power of scandal and non examination. Her higher power is her paycheck. Her disdain is non reflection. She is an arrow in my own heart.
- When hatred wells, it dissipates into flints of arrows
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