Monday, October 5, 2009

The church saga Part II

everything else. I felt strangely serene afterward. He was gentle and beautiful and I felt like anything could happen in life, that at least one of my dreams came true. I had been fully in love with him since Sept, 1989, and here it was March, 1990. He was very reserved with his feelings, he rarely took risks. He was an emotional stuffer all the way. I want to mention I was married and I take full responsibility for falling in love with someone else. By the time, the physical connection took place it was too late. I couldn't have resisted unless a bus ran me over that day. I loved him. He told me to keep it under my hat. A few weeks later,th I went to his house in the middle of the day and told him I wanted to be with him. He must have been blind not to see how much I loved him. He must have thought about it for some time before inviting me over. He told me point blank that is not what he wanted in life at that time. (I didn't know if it was to be with a woman, or to slow down his acting career- his production company ended up doing a successful play in an open stage in a restaurant in Hollywood). Anyways, I did tell the Pastor becuz I felt guilty and I also told Sandra, a girl in the church he was dating. My Pastor was cool with it but Sandra was not. I don't think my Pastor was happy with Larry being involved with so many women in the church. (At least three in one year). Sandra flipped out for she was really naievely in love with him. The whole thing eventually blew over and I let it go. I had a baby with my then husband and still talked to LW on and off for ten years. However, it took me at least four years to get over him and it almost ruined my marriage. I still don't know why he wanted to be with me except curiosity as he stated that night. He left the church about six months after I moved back to Wisconsin. He ended up dissing his best friend Steve and another woman he dated named Nancy. To this day, I don't think I have ever loved anyone so deeply except the father of my first miscarriage, James from Virginia.

You oughta know or do you want to? Part One

The time has come for justice, and yet the defenders of the familiar one of the past will not give up their swords. To them, L. Welch is a hero in an anti establishment world. Somehow, being removed from a position at age 59 is some form of achievement. As I understand, a man named Mr. Chase also suffered the same dilemma and I am wondering if the school itself has a witch hunt quality. I am attempting to explain to the students of John Marshall why I chose to and comment on the story.

Larry was an integral part of our church and helped establish a professional equity waiver theatre company within the church and by the church. Most of the members if not all were the theatre co but we still had a few guest actors/actresses including Gwen Van Dam and Richard Karn. At that time, Faith Ford was a member of our church but not in the company. Joseph Runningfox also was a part of my play but bailed out right before opening night.

I wanted to direct my own play which was not billeted until the final play of the season. Larry said I could assistant direct "A Waitress Nightmare." He was the director. I also ran the magazine "On Cue." I put in 4-5 nights a week for 9 months not to mention I had a ft job at the American Red Cross. Larry and I were in close contact every night I also got burnt out by the time my play was mounted but I kept going. With the closeness and proximity and his overpowering personality, I pretty much fell in love with him. He controlled a great aspect of my life because I allowed it, yes, but also becuz he demanded a lot from me. The first play was a restaurant play and they used real food and I had to watch ten to fifteen major pots and pans every night and didn't finish till eleven. The attachment to him grew, not necessarily a healthy one. It probably peaked around December. Strangely enough, he didn't respond directly till March. I did not make any overt passes at him, the connection just grew stronger on its own. I bought him a giant Shakespeare book around Christmas. By January, he could have told I was hopelessly in love with him. I even wrote a monologue to indicate as such. Out of the blue one day in March, he asked me to come over. I felt like the strongest experience I shared with him in terms of emotion has already passesd I thought it was some kind of test. It was actually out of character for him to show hardly any emotion and a few women in the church he did date, it never got too far. Well, I did go to his apartment on Gower, and we did not have sex but