Thursday, August 12, 2010

Relative calmness

The threshold of my week was capitulated by a stroke by my father. My father, who seemed to streamline through life the last few years and I just talked to in an ordinary now in a hospital unable to speak and function properly and may be facing eternity shortly. The urgency hasn't grasped onto me yet. I cannot travel to Minnesota til next week. Both my twin sister and my older sister flew in yesterday from Cali to Minnesota. My older sister is the power of attorney and has to make medical decisions.

I am in Outpost 41, the normal wear and tear of everyday life of L.A. and feel strangely marginalized by the event. I had a good relationship with my father until this happened and I have no regrets. He was a better man in his latter years and didn't seem to get his feathers ruffled as often. He still had acute cognitive functioning. I felt that we mended our fences and settled our differences. I wonder how much he can process now as he lies in the hospital bed, waiting on the mercy of others to help him. I will have more reflections later on this weekend.