Life as it is.

Things have changed for me in a comforting sort of way. I no longer have to worry financially. But in the bigger picture that makes life manageable, my ingrained character makes me dedicated to the cause - of work, school and child-rearing. Without the basic structure of my existence, I cannot rest on my laurels. God's plan is for us to fulfill his purpose. With more money, I could start my own ministry but I don't have a big enuff income to sustain myself. So I will persist in my academic goals until I get to a place where I can fully support myself.

With my father recently dying, I realize I am the next generation to take on the fulfillment of my time and be representation of the values my parents project into me. Each child holds components of their parent's aura and I can cling to certain aspects of my upbringing that are forthright. I was raised in a a good Lutheran church with good pastors. I believe by 2013, the Second coming of Christ will occur. I believe that finanical upheaval will continue to plague America and until we modify our existence away from monetary dependency, our quality of life will be the never ending rat race. I think many Californians in my area have turned to Christ in the last 2 years, esp. the Spanish and Korean community. But just as many have to gnosticism, self fulfillment and spiritual groping in the darkness. At the center of our existence, we need to spread light and unconditional love to all of those around us. We have to perpetuate that all gifts are from God and there is only one path to salvation, Jesus Christ. It is not a factual grasp, it is a spiritual transformation bestowed on chosen individuals by Christ himself.

I have been surrounded by intellectual arrogance the last few years at the university and by some of my classmates. Their rational objectivity that they perceive is really limited knowledge of religion. It was man himself who created pragmatism and the basis of empirical thought. Man cannot trranscend himself alone either physically or mentally. God has a place in man's life. If someone willing understands the Gospel and refuses it, God allowed that option. God just impressed that we present it to each person. He has to do the work in their heart. I have more to say about this but I have an assignment due now in class.