2010 20TEN LOVE & IMPACT, CONSEQUENTIAL MOMENTS

I wouldn't identify 2010 as a turbulent year. Loran & I went to Minnesota in Feb, 2010 which was a brief but nice trip. He got to know his cousins more. The house I was living in foreclosed around March but the landlords didn't bother to tell me until there was an inadvertent sign in their bedroom which was a room that lead to the laundry room. I qualified for low income housing in August by a stroke of luck and moved in by Sept. 7. However, on 8-14-2010, my father died which jumbled up my universe and timeline of thought, relationships and life spans. My father, elusive most of his life had a gentler quality these last few years but a girlfriend who barricaded an intimate relationship with us, his kids. I never felt like my father fully belonged to me. His mind was always on some distant shore or relishing some past pain from WWII, his brother's sudden death or the crippling effect of corporate life. Although he managed to retire by age 56, he had a downcast spirit about him his whole life. Anyways, my Fall 2010 was super busy. I worked 28 hours a week and atttended college full time. I also worked split shifts and often had to shuffle my son home between shifts. My son's school was 10 miles from work and 14 miles from home so I drove the golden triangle repeatedly. I became closer with the night staff and enjoyed the company of Joe A. and J.P. Mr. Walker's humour continues to challenge me and be more quick witted myself. Cindy and I have grown closer. Some of the teachers became more demanding and bossy but I learned how to deal with it. Overall, I really couldn't ask for a nicer staff. Needless to say, It is now December. My last hurdle was finishing up a few papers and I was finally relieved from work for three weeks and school for a month on Dec.18. I allowed myself some down time but notice I am driven to hyperness and errand running and constant activity. I went shopping 2 or 3 days but briefly. Shopping isn't really my thing. I spent more time getting cards together and pictures to send in them for Christmas. I had a lovely lunch this past week at the Good Earth restaurant, a throw back from the 70s. I know Minnesota had Good Earth stores of some kind with health food. I also started my own radio show this year with Ernest L. Sewell, one of my long term BFFs. I have had Pastor Ken Anderson, Bob Graf, Timothy and Nate Phelps on the show as well as featuring stories about Larry Rosebaugh's life, emotional conflict, Election 2000, Integrity, Athiesm, and Westboro Baptist Church and a few more. I hope you can join me for one of my broadcasts Sunday nights at 7 p.m. Its my new baby and I put a lot of work into it. I am also working on a novel and screenplay. More to be announced on those projects. Merry Christmas!!!! www.blogtalkradio.com/ernestradionetwork

Political Gravity with Jane Hoffman - Election 2010

Political Gravity with Jane Hoffman - Election 2010

Win or lose, we as a nation have lost as a whole.

If your faith in Obama is transient and your faith in a leader has an expiration date of two years, then you are not a faithful servant of American or its good.

Yes, I am talking extremes because the collective hatred by rightists toward Jimmy Carter, Bill Clinton and the most recent trend towards Obama is institutionalized hatred.

I dare you to take a walk with me as Pink would say, down my road to redefining America to a point where it can recuperate from divisional hatred.

I DARE YOU to play the traditional foreign policy game of the prisoner's dilemma. You are the prisoner. You live and breathe in a place called Hate, better known as Modern Day America. Breathe love and you will expose Hate. Try to survive in the close minded world of the hate mongers - the Rush's, the Ann Coulters, the Sean Hannity's and the self exalted.

No room for pragmatists like Dennis Praeger or Larry Elder.

Its a two edged sword in the battle of extremes. You will get lessons on how to combat the lessons of poltical hate from the well endowed right wing media. And you will learn how to combat it through intellect, trust, compassion and absence of fear.

LISTEN IN SUNDAY NIGHTS AT 7 P.M CENTRAL TO POLITICAL GRAVITY WITH JANE HOFFMAN 347-989-1942

Between the intention and the delivery

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/ernestradionetwork/2010/11/08/political-gravity-with-jane-hoffman If anyone knows anything about American politics, is that the ying and the yang are more like a boulder on top of hill, ready to fall on the lone bystander 300 feet down. The end will come as well as the beginning of new suffering. The Republican mantra is really about inflicting pain on others as well as absence of comfort. When you think about it, its like a Christian with conviction with no real love. Remember 1 Corinthians 13 - If I have have everything but no love, I am nothing. (paraphrased). The Republican is like the Pharisee, claiming their higher authority and looking down on anyone who lacks their frame of reference. So you want to end abortion but will condemn the woman who has the illegitimate child and accept public assistance. So you think national health care implementation is out of the scope of government and will cause destruction, yet you still tolerate illegal immigrants receiving free health care, welfare families getting free and subsidized health care vs. a system where everyone pays either through their company or individually and the health care is guaranteed. Where is the social good mantra? If the self righteous Republican, Christians included, want God and Jesus in government then you are going to have to implement the philosophy of Jesus into your daily lives and as a citizen of government. That means, you will have to give all you have to the poor as Jesus mandates, follow him by first giving up your material comfort, lay down your life for your brother, feed clothe and help your fellow man. That should be the sole mission of every Christian. Is to relieve the pain and suffering of others. For right wing Christians who want full entrance and authority in the public sphere which is inclusive of all factions of citizens including gays, pacifists, and socialists, supplementation for human needs must be met by provisional government. In other words, you cannot impress your own self imposed needs based models on the diverse citizenry. You must honor their definition of life, liberty and happiness? Are you up for the job? In 30 years, the Christian right has proven one thing. They are oppressive, elitists and not capable of reflecting Christ. They support wars where 21 yr olds die for bad foreign policy making. They support eliminating food stamps for the poor like in Wisconsin as Tommy Thompson did. They are non-compassionate. They are failures and fuelers of hatred. As a Christian on the left, I denounce their claim to exist morally in politics. I will refute the Christian right who has proven time over they do not reflect the only deity worth emanating: Jesus. Come follow me to the Christian left on blogtalk radio on the Ernest Radio Network and join the discussion Sunday nights from 7-8 p.m. Pacific: Political Gravity with Jane Hoffman 347-989-1942 When will the other shoe drop and America's lack of compassion and hatred result in real suffering? The way we treat our fellow citizens will bring judgment day to a rapid advancement on how God will handle Christians who spread hatred. Sean Hannity is the number one hate-monger and it is his mission to destroy Obama.

Its a hate or love world that center divides us
ritualizes custom than snakes you by the other
the Triune God in whom I believe
harnesses the stone and refines the truth
I am breaking like a multi vessel streaming to the ground
the blood in my hands traveling thru the crevasses on down
into the river of sorrow
broken by the sword
of the painful truth he spoke
and the reaction he ignored
plunge me to death a life of another
of those who cause me pain over and over
I no longer exist
I take the hemlock gladly
Dr. Kervorkian supplied my ad on google
covet my death
remove my life
unloosen the chains
that bring me strife

Life as it is.

Things have changed for me in a comforting sort of way. I no longer have to worry financially. But in the bigger picture that makes life manageable, my ingrained character makes me dedicated to the cause - of work, school and child-rearing. Without the basic structure of my existence, I cannot rest on my laurels. God's plan is for us to fulfill his purpose. With more money, I could start my own ministry but I don't have a big enuff income to sustain myself. So I will persist in my academic goals until I get to a place where I can fully support myself.

With my father recently dying, I realize I am the next generation to take on the fulfillment of my time and be representation of the values my parents project into me. Each child holds components of their parent's aura and I can cling to certain aspects of my upbringing that are forthright. I was raised in a a good Lutheran church with good pastors. I believe by 2013, the Second coming of Christ will occur. I believe that finanical upheaval will continue to plague America and until we modify our existence away from monetary dependency, our quality of life will be the never ending rat race. I think many Californians in my area have turned to Christ in the last 2 years, esp. the Spanish and Korean community. But just as many have to gnosticism, self fulfillment and spiritual groping in the darkness. At the center of our existence, we need to spread light and unconditional love to all of those around us. We have to perpetuate that all gifts are from God and there is only one path to salvation, Jesus Christ. It is not a factual grasp, it is a spiritual transformation bestowed on chosen individuals by Christ himself.

I have been surrounded by intellectual arrogance the last few years at the university and by some of my classmates. Their rational objectivity that they perceive is really limited knowledge of religion. It was man himself who created pragmatism and the basis of empirical thought. Man cannot trranscend himself alone either physically or mentally. God has a place in man's life. If someone willing understands the Gospel and refuses it, God allowed that option. God just impressed that we present it to each person. He has to do the work in their heart. I have more to say about this but I have an assignment due now in class.

Relevance, a poem

Coming home then back
to bury a father
while my heart lay under attack
the home I long for
Minnesota dream
becomes a revolving door of necessity
Locked in L.A.
for a dry run
the road to success
repaired then undone
no longer entertainment
no longer capturnig souls
with my fame and delight
its been a good year since I let go
Branden washed in self absorption
Edison only wants some of the gold
that I spread around in the nineties
then turned to nickel shoal
My life towards Christ
is the road I choose
and all I see is half torn souls
on the streets of L.A.
arise oh, ministry
re-open the gates
so I can safeguard fantasy
and avoid fate
drinking communion wine
from a paper cup
spilled on the church carpet
for a sin to erupt
exorcise the vengeance
delegate the shame
Cast for in silence
Larry Welch is to blame.

Relative calmness

The threshold of my week was capitulated by a stroke by my father. My father, who seemed to streamline through life the last few years and I just talked to in an ordinary conversation...is now in a hospital unable to speak and function properly and may be facing eternity shortly. The urgency hasn't grasped onto me yet. I cannot travel to Minnesota til next week. Both my twin sister and my older sister flew in yesterday from Cali to Minnesota. My older sister is the power of attorney and has to make medical decisions.

I am in Outpost 41, the normal wear and tear of everyday life of L.A. and feel strangely marginalized by the event. I had a good relationship with my father until this happened and I have no regrets. He was a better man in his latter years and didn't seem to get his feathers ruffled as often. He still had acute cognitive functioning. I felt that we mended our fences and settled our differences. I wonder how much he can process now as he lies in the hospital bed, waiting on the mercy of others to help him. I will have more reflections later on this weekend.