2010 20TEN LOVE & IMPACT, CONSEQUENTIAL MOMENTS

I wouldn't identify 2010 as a turbulent year. Loran & I went to Minnesota in Feb, 2010 which was a brief but nice trip. He got to know his cousins more. The house I was living in foreclosed around March but the landlords didn't bother to tell me until there was an inadvertent sign in their bedroom which was a room that lead to the laundry room. I qualified for low income housing in August by a stroke of luck and moved in by Sept. 7. However, on 8-14-2010, my father died which jumbled up my universe and timeline of thought, relationships and life spans. My father, elusive most of his life had a gentler quality these last few years but a girlfriend who barricaded an intimate relationship with us, his kids. I never felt like my father fully belonged to me. His mind was always on some distant shore or relishing some past pain from WWII, his brother's sudden death or the crippling effect of corporate life. Although he managed to retire by age 56, he had a downcast spirit about him his whole life. Anyways, my Fall 2010 was super busy. I worked 28 hours a week and atttended college full time. I also worked split shifts and often had to shuffle my son home between shifts. My son's school was 10 miles from work and 14 miles from home so I drove the golden triangle repeatedly. I became closer with the night staff and enjoyed the company of Joe A. and J.P. Mr. Walker's humour continues to challenge me and be more quick witted myself. Cindy and I have grown closer. Some of the teachers became more demanding and bossy but I learned how to deal with it. Overall, I really couldn't ask for a nicer staff. Needless to say, It is now December. My last hurdle was finishing up a few papers and I was finally relieved from work for three weeks and school for a month on Dec.18. I allowed myself some down time but notice I am driven to hyperness and errand running and constant activity. I went shopping 2 or 3 days but briefly. Shopping isn't really my thing. I spent more time getting cards together and pictures to send in them for Christmas. I had a lovely lunch this past week at the Good Earth restaurant, a throw back from the 70s. I know Minnesota had Good Earth stores of some kind with health food. I also started my own radio show this year with Ernest L. Sewell, one of my long term BFFs. I have had Pastor Ken Anderson, Bob Graf, Timothy and Nate Phelps on the show as well as featuring stories about Larry Rosebaugh's life, emotional conflict, Election 2000, Integrity, Athiesm, and Westboro Baptist Church and a few more. I hope you can join me for one of my broadcasts Sunday nights at 7 p.m. Its my new baby and I put a lot of work into it. I am also working on a novel and screenplay. More to be announced on those projects. Merry Christmas!!!! www.blogtalkradio.com/ernestradionetwork

Life as it is.

Things have changed for me in a comforting sort of way. I no longer have to worry financially. But in the bigger picture that makes life manageable, my ingrained character makes me dedicated to the cause - of work, school and child-rearing. Without the basic structure of my existence, I cannot rest on my laurels. God's plan is for us to fulfill his purpose. With more money, I could start my own ministry but I don't have a big enuff income to sustain myself. So I will persist in my academic goals until I get to a place where I can fully support myself.

With my father recently dying, I realize I am the next generation to take on the fulfillment of my time and be representation of the values my parents project into me. Each child holds components of their parent's aura and I can cling to certain aspects of my upbringing that are forthright. I was raised in a a good Lutheran church with good pastors. I believe by 2013, the Second coming of Christ will occur. I believe that finanical upheaval will continue to plague America and until we modify our existence away from monetary dependency, our quality of life will be the never ending rat race. I think many Californians in my area have turned to Christ in the last 2 years, esp. the Spanish and Korean community. But just as many have to gnosticism, self fulfillment and spiritual groping in the darkness. At the center of our existence, we need to spread light and unconditional love to all of those around us. We have to perpetuate that all gifts are from God and there is only one path to salvation, Jesus Christ. It is not a factual grasp, it is a spiritual transformation bestowed on chosen individuals by Christ himself.

I have been surrounded by intellectual arrogance the last few years at the university and by some of my classmates. Their rational objectivity that they perceive is really limited knowledge of religion. It was man himself who created pragmatism and the basis of empirical thought. Man cannot trranscend himself alone either physically or mentally. God has a place in man's life. If someone willing understands the Gospel and refuses it, God allowed that option. God just impressed that we present it to each person. He has to do the work in their heart. I have more to say about this but I have an assignment due now in class.